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Saturday, 31 December 2011

Happy New Year to All My friends
KHUDA KRE AAP KO NAYA SAAL RAAS AA JAYE 
JISE AAP CHAHTE HO VO AAPKE PASS AA JAYE 
IS SAAL KUWARE NA RHE AAP
AAP KA RISHTA LEKAR AAPKI SAAS AA JAYE

Lyf Style:- Agr koi tumhe patthar mare..To tumhra farz h k Tum us pr phool phenko.....
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wo bhi........
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gamle ke saath.
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Sir phod do saale ka.

Friday, 30 December 2011


Ultimate Bezzati :D Son of a powerful politician was boasting in a
party: Do you know who my father is? Another guy: Shame on you. You are a grown up
guy and still you don't know who your father is. :-

New Theory
Argument wins the person, but loses the relation.
So don't argue with ur friends jst..............................
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Slap them & say, kam bol kamine (talk less idiot)..................:P:P
Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge...Think...
"GADHE YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"
Santa Singh: Can u spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Banta Singh: Post office.

A NEW YEAR
A New Challenge
A New Goal
A New Optimism
A New Aproach
A New Mission
A New Resolution
Wishng U a very
"Happy New year"

Saturday, 3 December 2011


Dost beer pee rahe the,ki table pe rakha mobile baja.
boy:hello
gf:janu i m in market kya mai 50000 rs ka gold set le lu?
boy :ha janu lelo
gf: silk suit bhi, jo 5500rs ki hai?
boy:1 nahi ,2,4 lelo
gf: :Ook dear tumhara credit card mere pass hai, usi se le rahi hu
boy:ha theek hai
sare dost:tu pagal hai ya tuje chad gayi hai ya tu hume batana chahta hai k tu gf ko kitna chahta he.
boy: wo sab chodo pehle ye batao k ye mobile kiska hai

her ek frnd kamina hota hai... :D
It's the sweetest thing to do.
Do it the bed, on a sofa,
in the bathroom or anywhere!
U must never stop doing it.
It's called Prayer! God bless u
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new o ne everyday..
HEIGHT OF COURAGE


A senior student while ragging a junior


I will kiss ur wife on ur wedding


Junior answers Thats ok sir but i will marry ur sist

Friday, 2 December 2011


Girl to her boyfriend: Very Nice mobile! Where did you Buy It?

Boy: I won this In a running race.

Girl: WOWW How many people participated?

Boy: Well, it was really tough, peoples participated are MOBILE OWNER, POLICE And ME. :P

mera paisa kaab doge

Sent:
27/11/2011
7:40pm

ye msg sb dosto ko send karo 90% bewakuf pura msg padhe bina hi reply karenge konse paise?
I'm Bevkuf

I'm fool

I'm Paagal

I'm Idiot

I'm nalayak

I'm ullu

Abe dheere bol
yaha tk awaz aa rahi hai
New Style of break up
A boy gifted a Diwali rocket to his GF
GF: Wat d hell is dis?
Boy: U wanted stars na now sit on this n get lost..!!

Thursday, 1 December 2011


Smartness VS Intelligence
Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a
question. If you don't know the answer, you pay
me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will
pay you $500."
Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?
Banta doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5.
Now, it's Banta's turn.
He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs?"
Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends.
After an hour, he gives Banta $500.
Einstein going nuts and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
Banta reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $ 5. :P :D

A wife hit Her husband with frying pan
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husband-what was that for??
.
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wife-i found a paper in your pocket,
with the name jenny on it!!!
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husband -i played a race last week and jenny was
the name of my horse!!! wife-huh----- m sorry!!!!
.
.
.
next day.
wife again hit him wit the frying pan!! .
..
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husband-why??????
.
wife-your horse is on the phone. :P
Santa-Aaram se Baitha tha
Banta-Kam karo
Santa-MAi Garmi me kaam Nahi karta hu
Banta-Aur Sardi me
Santa-Garmi Aane ka Intezaar karta hu
Mariz:Dr mere paas paise nahi hai
Aap mera Ilaaj kar de to kabhi apke kaam aaunga
Dr:Kya kaam karte ho?
Mariz:Qabar khodata hu.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011


Smart bikhari

Ek bikhari ko kisi bde aadmi ne Rs100 bhik me diye,
bikhari fir 5 star hotel me lunch krne chla gya,
usne chicken k saath beer pee aur khana khaya,
bill Rs3000 ka ban gya,pr bikhari k pass Rs100 the
wo bill na bhar ska to hotel walon ne use police ko pkda diya,
usne police wale ko Rs100 diye aur chuut gya...
Laughing at ur own mistake canlengthen ur life Research says
But
Laughing at ur Wife's mistake can Shorten ur Life Experience says
Once there was a fight between me and a Tiger
I ran away
Why?
To save the Tiger only  r left
Other wise u know me

Teacher:Class we will have only half a day of school this morning
Class:Hooray
Teacher:We will have the other half this afternoon

Tuesday, 29 November 2011


cat-how old r u ?.
elephant- 5yr.
cat-bt u look big,
elephant-i m a complan boy,
cat-i m 30yr,
elephant -bt u look so small,
cat-jhandu kesari jevan badti umar mano tham se jaye .
Wo Aankh Badi Hi Pyari Thi Jo Usne HumKo Maari Thi
Hum To Muft Me Pat Gaye yaaro
Hume Kya Pata tha Ki Unko Baba Ram Dev wali Bimari Thi
Boy askd God: why she luvs a Rose which Dies in a day
Bt Does't luv me Who Dies 4 her Evryday
God Replied
Salaa.. Kya Dialog mara Phir se bol 
Bago me phool khilte rahenge
Raat me diye jalte hi rahenge
Dua he RAB se aap khush rahe hamesa
Baki Jeena Haraam to hum karte hi rahenge

Monday, 28 November 2011


Qualified MBA Marketing Student
married a girl.
After 1 year of tough life with her,
finally
...
... he got angry & Sent a note to his
father-in-law:
"Your Product is Not According To
My Requirements"
The smart Father-in-Law replied:
1 year Warranty expired.
Company is not responsible.:P
Madam
Is line ko do lafzo me Bolo
Me Apse pyar krta hu
Santa:Teri meri meri teri prem kahani he mushkil
Do lafzo me ye baya Na ho paye
Teacher-Bade ho kar kya banoge
Snta-Papa kehte h jitna chahe padho
wo nahi ban sakate jochahte ho
Teacher-Kya banna chahte ho
Snta-Lady Doctor
Grl:My Heart is like a Mobile in tat mobile U r d Sim Card
Boy:Im very happy
Grl:Dont b too happy if I get a new offer I will change the sim card

Sunday, 27 November 2011


Kabhi pasand na aye sath mera to bata dena ae Dost e BhALOO"

"ham dil pe pathar rakh k tumhein goli maar dengay

(,'')__,=- - - \('-')/
/) ) ( (
| \_ _/_/
thaa
thaa thaa dishu:-/

"(:oye isko bori:)"
,,,mai dal de,,, :-)...!
Santa ne jalate hue makan se 6 logo ko apani jaan pe khelkar Bahar Nikala
Fir bhi usako jail ho gayi
Kyu
kyu
ki wo sab Firebrigade wale the
Mere pyar ko Bewfai ka inam de gaya
Mere Dil ko yaado ka Paigam de gaya
maine kaha mere Dil me Dard hi
To Wo JHANDU BAM de gaya
Banta-Yaar tune itane chote chote baal kyu katwaye,
Santa-Wo yaar hajjam ke paas chutte nahi the 3 rupye maine bola 3 rupye ka aor kaat do

Saturday, 26 November 2011


Teacher: When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night.

Teacher: Why did you say that?

Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
A drunk man was strunlin 2 open door with key. 
Frnd askd - Can I help 2open the door? 
Drunk: dude just hold the house straight & i will open the door..
Ladka:hum 25 bhai bahan he 
Ladki:kya aap ke ghar family planning wale nahi aate? 
Ladka:aaye the par school samajh ke vapas chale gaye

Scientists all over the world r
wondering
how long a human being can live
without a brain...
So, Kindly tell them ur age plz......

Friday, 25 November 2011


She: Hi Baby ^.^
Him: Hi My lovely .. (Sending fails)

She: Are u here?
Him: Yes Yes im here (sendingfa ils)
...
She: Are u ignoring me or what!!!
Him: Honey im not... Im right here... / / (Sending
fails)

She: It s over; dont u ever talk to me again!
Him : Damn ! Go to hell :@>-<! (Message sent :P ;D :\

What is d difference Between Luv marriage and an arranged Marriage?
d 1st one is perfect Suicide & the Next one is an arranged Murder
Dadaji- Teri teacher Ghar aa rahi hai ja Chup ja
Pota- Pahle aap chup jao aapki Maut ka bahana Bana kar 2 hafto ki chutti le rakhi hai maine
Grl: I love you
Boy: I love you to
Grl: kitna pyar karate ho?
Boy: Jitna tum karti ho
Grl: kamine Iska matalab tu b time paas kr rha hai

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Child in Polybag


1 child wrote letter 2 Shiv g
Dear Shiv
plz mujhe 1 cycle de do
mujhe isaki bhut jrurat h
7 din me cycle n milane par wo mandir gya
or Ganesh ji ki murti utha laya or Shiv g ko letter likha
MR SHIV
Aapka beta mere kabje me h agr apna beta chahiye to kal 12PM mandir k piche cycle le k aa jana
Man Tumhe thand lage to kya karte ho
kanjus Mombati k pas beth jata hu
Man aur jada thand lage to kya karte ho
Kanjus Mombati jala leta hu
Man- Wat's ur Dad name
Boy- His Name is LAUGHING
Man- Ur Mother's Name
Boy- SMILING
Man- U must b Kidding
Boy- No, Dat's my Brother I m Joking

Chillar Party


Boy: I hate to see a Girl standing in a Bus when I am Comfortably Seated
Girl: So what you Do?
Boy: I close My Eyes...!!
Pati- Na kajre ki Dhar Na Motiyo ke haar Na koi kiya singar Fir b kitan sundar ho
Patni- Kamine saaf bol na MAKE-UP k liye paise Nahi Dunga   
I hv saved my Grl Frnds Number As BATTERY LOW
So,
Whenever she calls & Im not around,
My Mom plugs my Phone 2 charger
Unknowingly :-)

Tuesday, 22 November 2011


A Girl calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Girl: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?
...
Help Desk: Dear Mam, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind u, they can't read your password.

Girl: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Wife- Look A thief has entered our House & eating the Cake prepared by Me
Husband- Oh my God
Whom should i CALL?
POLICE or AMBULANCE
Santa call to FM Radio I hv found wallet with Rs 15000 of Mr. Shyam
RJ Sir u want to return it
Santa Nahi re I want 2 dedicate a sad song 4 him
Baniye ki Wife Bimar thi, Light Na hone ke kaaran Candle Jala Di Aur Bola Dr ko Lene ja raha h u  agar lage ki nahi bachogi to Cadle Bhujha Dena

Monday, 21 November 2011


A boy was driving a car on a Highway. A girl on scooty overtook him.

Boy shouted, “Buffalo”

Girl turned back & shouted, “Pig, donkey, Monkey, Stupid boy”

Suddenly she met with an accident. She was hit by a buffalo crossing the road.

MORAL: “Girls never understand what a boy wants to say''
U think of me and I think of U
When v both think of each other
Do u knw what it means?
It means..
V both have no work to do
Dono bekar
Son: Papa kya hm Aeroplane Se Bhgwan k paas ja Sakte hai
Father: Son! Hum Car se b ja sakate hai agr Car Thumhari Mom Drive kare to
Sister 2 bro What r u going 2 gift grandma on her bday
Bro A Football
Sis Bt grandma does not play
Bro On my birthday she gave me BHAGVAT GITA

Sunday, 20 November 2011


Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi, What r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types

"Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair..
"Husband: "Bloody English Language!

A man jumped into the river and never came back. . Another man jumped, he also didnot return. .
. Santa's conclusion:Man is soluble in water...!! . Poori chemistry hi hila di..!! ;) :-P
Attachment is not when 2 ppl chat Day & nyt
Its wen Someone mails u n adds an image or data file wid it That file is known as attachment
Sonu- Mai is Bansuri ko wapas karana chahata hoon
Dukandaar- Par Isame kharabi kya hai
Sonu- Yaar
thumhe Dhikhata Nahi Isame kitane Chehed hai.

Saturday, 19 November 2011


Fees mafi k liye Application;

To,
The Principal
High School
Sir,
Baat ye hai k mere papa ne mujhe fees k liye 500 diye the.

100 ki doston k sath film daikh li... 150 ki botles or smosay kha liye...

50 ka GIRLFRIEND ko Easy recharge diya.... 200 Ka ENGLISH wali teacher py shrt lga di... Main smjhta tha k unka chkar sirf math's wali Sir k sath hai... Par Unka CHAKAR AAp k Sath b aiy...

Ab AAP k pass 2 hi Raste hain

1= meri fees maaf kr do
ya
2=mein aap ka raz fash kr don

your obedintly Student

PAPU :ppppp
Woh hamari gali me aaye
Woh hamari gali me aaye
aur chillake bole
Raddi Wala!!!
Height of Begging:
A sleeping Begger puts up a Notice Board in Front of him
.
.
Please do not make noise by Dropping Coins..
Offer Notes Only!!
Makan Malik Mai tumako kiraya dene k liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hoon
Golu Theek he ji mai Diwali Holi or Chrismas ke 3 din select karata hoon

Friday, 18 November 2011

Cheating


Unknown call..

He: do u have a boyfriend?
She: yes, who are u?
He: I'm your brother ! Just wait till i come home!!/:):D=D

Another unknown call

He : do u have a boyfriend ?
She : no no I don't
He : what ? :O I'm ur boyfriend , u just break my heart
She : no no no darling I'm sorry I though u r my brother
He : =D right ! I'm ur brother Just wait till I come home , i'll show u later .....
Dil ko pata tha wo zarur aayengi,
Dil ko pata tha wo zarur ayengi par kabhi socha na tha ki
Surprise me KAMBAKHT apana PATI bhi saath layegi...!

SRK and his son Aryan gone 4 movie Ra.one first day first show
After half and hour
Aryan: papa ghar chalo na stargold pe Dabangg aanewali hai....!!! ! :P

Why does the needle of a Magnetic
compass always point North?

Because Rajnikanth lives in south
&
nobody dares to point at him...!

Thursday, 17 November 2011

5 Brother



High Level Insult

Aik bacha park mai bench pe betha
1 k bad 1 toffee kha rha tha.
Pas bethi 1 orat boli:
Jo ziada metha khatay hen
wo jaldi mar jatay hen.

Boy:
ap ko malum hay meri dadi ki age 106 saal thi.

Orat:
wo metha kam khati hongi.

Boy:
nahi,
Wo apny kaam se kaam rakhti thi...:P :D


Aishwarya Ke Baby Ne Susu Kiya
Abhishek Saaf Karne Gaya!!
Itne Me Baby Ne Kaha
Mujh Per Ek Ehsaan Karna, Ki Mujh Per Koi Ehsaan Mat Karna..!!
What is the Difference between Falling frOm 10th floOr and 1st floOr .. ??
From 10th floOr ..
AAAAAAAAAAAA dhup
FrOm 1st floOr..
Dhup ..AAAAAAAAAAA

Wednesday, 16 November 2011


CAUTION,Jokes Ahead:-):-)

A little boy wanted Rs500, so he prayed 4 weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided 2 write a letter 2 God requesting Rs500.

... When post office staff received a letter addressed 2 God, they forwarded it 2 the President.

President was so amused, she instructed her secretary 2 send the little boy Rs 500.

As she thought Rs500 would be a lot of money for him she sended Rs 200.

The little boy was delighted wit Rs200 & decided 2 write a thank u note 2 God.

'Dear God, Thank u very much 4 sending d money. However,
I noticed dat u ev sent it through 'Rashtrapati Bhavan' & those corrupt donkeys ate my 300 rupees! :/ :P

Boy secretly opens his Girlfriend Mobile to See, what name has she saved his Number?
He was shocked to see his name,
Recharge Waale Bhaiya ;-)

Gabbar: are oh sambha ye kon log he jo SMS nahi karte
Sambha: sardar ye woh log hai jo miss call karne ke bad b balance check karte hai
Jailer- Tum jail me kuyn ho?
Santa- Maine Bank Luta. Lekin Paise wahi ginane lag gaya Qki waha likha tha Counter Chhodne se pehale paisa Gin lo 

Tuesday, 15 November 2011


In Questions ka Sahi Jawab Do to jane .. :) :) 

1. Which two students look sleepy?
2. Which two students are twins?
3. Which 2 are the girl twins?
4. How many gals n boys r there in the pic? 

Ek moti Aurat ne chor pakra or

us k uper baith gayi or naukar se

kaha- ja police ko bula

Naukar : Meri chappal kahan hai ?

Chor bola abey meri pehan le or jaldi ja....lolz

Best Way Of Removing Tension Is Not Saying... "All Is Well"
But Just Sit
In A Corner, Close Your eyes And Say. "Sab kutte hai saale... :P

Ek larki ghar se bhaag gaee
3 din baad wapis aai
Father ghussay se bOla
''Ab kya lynay i ho?
Larki
''bareek pin wala charger...!:P:D

Life main ek baat hameshan yaad rakhna
k
cream biscuit main cream hoti hai
lekin
tiger biscuit main tiger nahi hota O.o

Monday, 14 November 2011

Cute Dog



A few things american movies taught their kids-

1 Chinese have nothing better to do than teach or practice kung fu.

2. More than 50% of the US Population are FBI/CIA agents mayba working undercover .

3. if a man has survived a mishap with a lady. then he is entitled to a kiss, no matter if he meet the lady only that day.

4. The purpose of school system in USA is to promote basketball

5. aliens have a special interest in attacking US!! :P :D

Most'First Class'students get technical seats, some become Doctors and some Engineers.

* The'Second Class'pass, and then get MBA, become Administra tors and control the'First Class'.

* The'Third Class'pass, enter politics and
Become Ministers and control both.

* Last, but not the least,

The'Failures' join the underworld and
control all the above.

And those who do not attend any school, become Swamis and Gurus
and everyone goes to them. :P :D

Sir: Define Newton's law?
Santa: sir mujhe pura nhi ataa sirf last ka thoda ata
Sir: ok jitna aata utna hi bolo
S:"and this is called Newton's law

Papa k shadi k video dekh kr,
Beta-"Meri shadi me B aisi item Girls Nachwaenge."
PAPA:Kutte Kamin3,
Ye sab item Girls Nahi,
Teri Buawa H."

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Stages of life



LADY: Panditji meri shaadi ko 5 saal ho
gaye, Par, Ek bhi baccha nahi hua!

Pandit: mein Badrinath me tumhare naam ka
Diya jala dunga.
...
10 saal baad

.
Pandit uske ghar aaya.

Ghar me 10 bacche the.

Pandit: Mubarak ho!
baccho ke papa kaha hai.?

LADY: Badrinath gaye hain, Diya bujhaane.. :P :P

Bahut DARD Hota He Jb Teacher Bolta He Ki Tumhara or Tumhare Aage Wale Ka Answer 1 Hi He
Tab Dil se Aawaz ati he
To Sale Sawal B To 1 Hi Tha

Sir- Padhai Karo, Warna Koi Tumhe Job Nahi Dega.
Student- Sir, Padhai To Wo Log Karte Hai Jinhe Job Chahiye..
Hum To Job Dene Waalo Me Se Hai..

A husband gifted his wife a diamond necklace
and she didnt  talk to him for a month!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because that was the DEAL..

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Cat walk ke baad Cat Exercise

WOMAN: Sir mein apne larke ka naam kya rakhoon ?
AJIT: Iska naam Peter rakh do!
WOMAN: Meera doosra larka bhi hai jo iskaa twin hai, Mein uskaa naam kya rakhon ?
AJIT: Us kaa naam Repeter rakh do!

Plz frwrd ths msg 2 all u care
Dont drink water widout boilng becos
Fishes swim without
wearing Huggies
Nw plz dnt say thanx
aftral i care u yar!

SAMAY jese REGULAR bano ROSE Jese FRESH Rho
FLOWER Jese SOFT Rho PATTHAR Jese STRONG Bano OR MERE Jese NICE Bno
Ye Mushkil To H But
TRY Kro.

Love means when we drink 1 Coconut water with 2 strows Friendship means v hv 1 Coconut & we use only 1 strow & say
Bhikhari,pura mat pee jana

Friday, 11 November 2011


Wanna be my chamak challo :P :D

In last 10 Minutes of Exam Paper
.
.
.
.
... .
Every Student gets
Super Natural Power..!! =P =D

Teacher says
Agar apna
character acha
karna chahte ho to
apni har teacher ko
maa samjho
Student
per miss is se hamary papa ka character kharab hoga.

WHY V Dnt study da whole year and spend sleeples nyt durng EXAMS
Bcz
Sahil k sukon se hame inkar nhi
pr
TUFANO se kashti nikalne ka maza he or hai.. :pp

Ye Sun k to Dimagh hi Ghoom gya 
Jb Meine Apni Dadi ko kaha Dadi koi purana gana hi suna do
To woh Boli
Smack That 
All on the Floor Smack That ;)

Thursday, 10 November 2011


Today's Students

We go to school, to attend "CLASS" .
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Sleep Silently.

At home, we have to "STUDY".
S.T.U.D.Y. = Sleep, TV, Unlimited-sms, Dost, Youtube.

In class, we're given "HOMEWORK."
H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge.

While doing homework, we refer to "TEXTBOOK".
TEXTBOOK = TEXTing + faceBOOK

Santa ladki dekhne gaya.
Ladki ke baap ne puchha: Beta, Sharab pite ho?
Santa: Sharab kabhi baad me piyunga, abhi to sirf chai chalegi.

Maine apni life mein bahut dhoke khaye hai.
for eg.
.
Apple,,, chiku,,, sabzi,,, etc etc..
.
sab dhoke hi khaye hai...
Aur aapne?...

Man: Hello 100
Police: Yes, what's ur emergency?
Man: Two girls r fighting for me
P: What is the problem wid it Sir?
Man: The ugly one is winning

Wednesday, 9 November 2011


Dhoom 3

Future version of balance recharge.

TID:0608215250114644.
Dear Customer:You have recharge Rs:300.
The deducation of VAT 25%
... 
soniA gandhi tax 15%

manmohan Income Support 10%

congress tax 20%
GST 17%

GOVT Support Fund 5%

study tax 6%

other tax 1.5%

New Balance :Rs:1.50


Breaking NeWs...................
Facebook will close...
.
.
.
.
Whenever you click the X mark on the top right corner of the screen...o.O



FULL FORM OF DRINKS....
D:Delicious after 1 peg
R:Romantic after 2 peg
I:Interesting after 3 peg
K:King after 5peg
S:Satyanas after 6peg. :P :D

Tuesday, 8 November 2011



Saif Ali Khan at petrol Pump


Ohh No Kareena to lutt gayi Do Saif kaha se aa gaye ya fir ye ek hi hai

Boy To Girl : You Look Like A Barbie !

Girl : Thanks!
So You Mean
I m Tall And Beautiful ?

Boy : No,
Plastic And Without Brain...!! :-/ ;-) :-P :D (m)


world's most daring question

DARE TO ANSWER !!
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

What's Your Facebook password ? :P

Boy: Hey girl watz ur name?

Girl: Baap ko dhakka maar

Boy: What?

Girl: I mean "PUSH PAA" hahahahahaha :P

Monday, 7 November 2011

Teacher:- What is the difference between Himani and Tsunami..?
Banta- Himani is Face wash and Tsunami is Desh Wash..

Lady 2 Dr-Inki Bimari thik karo,Ye raat me zor-zor se mera naam pukrte he
Dr-Aap to lucky ho
Lady-Ni ,kal inki bv mayke se lautne wali he.:p

TATA motors COMDEDY:
Sir-What will you call 2nd & 3rd editions of NANO car?M.D-Sodium nitrite & Sodium Nitrate.

Sunday, 6 November 2011


If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates:

Cockroach: Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle! :P

Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her dad..what shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember :D
...
Mosquito: I am HIV positive this is all due to wrong sucking !!! :/

Chicken: If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you all ?

Octopus: I have just refilled my ink..horray!! ^_^

Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!! :X

Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid holiday is coming :'(

Pig writes a comment on Goat’s status: "Luckily I am haram" |4 likes (Y)|

Goat replies: "Don’t you remember that after Eid is the Chinese new year..?

Child- dad i too wants to become a doctor as you.
Dad-what qualification are there to you to become a doctor.
child-my hand writing

Ha_Ha_Ha
Usne Mujhe Raat Ko Kabaristan Me Akela Chhor Diya Dosto..
.
.
Ye Keh Kar Ki..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Pyar Kiya to Darna Kya'

Saturday, 5 November 2011


Dis mathematical pJ cn even mk u faint.
Agar tum 90 bar paap karoge to 45 bar pakde jaoge...Why?????
b'coz . . .
"Sin 90 = Cot 45"..!!:-P


Teacher was teaching Mahabharat a to 6th std students.. .
Teacher:- Kans heard Devaki's 8th son would kill him...So he put Devaki&Vasudev in prison. 1st child was born...Kan s killed him by poison. 2nd...Kans killed by sword....3 rd was born...
(At this point, a boy raised his hand for a doubt)

The teacher asked :- What?

The boy said :-If Kans knew that the 8th son would kill him......t hen why did he put Devaki&Vasudev in SAME jail??????

Teacher fainted!!! !!:p:p:p


fighting style-
1980-nukkad par mil tu!
1990-adde pe aa tu, batata hu!
2000-sport club pe mil, dekhta hu tujhe!
2011-ab aa tu facebOOK Per..

Teacher- 'Loffer' Aur 'Offer' Me Kya Antar Hai.?
?
Student- Simple Mam..
Ladka 'I Love U' Bole To Loffer
Aur
Ladki 'I Love U' Bole To Offer

Friday, 4 November 2011


Newly Married Couple-
Wife- Humari Shaadi Ko Purre 24 Ghante Ho Gaye Hai..
Husband- Aur Dekho Lagta Hai Jaise Kal Ki Hi Baat Ho.

Husband : My love Why are you looking so much pink

Wife: When your lovely words touch the bundle branches of the circulatio n system of my heart.

It starts beating faster, because, increased output transmitte d to adrenals which start secreting glucagon.

To increase blood glucose level and combat this emergency, also increase pituitary output to increase blood estrogen level, caused by vasodilati on and I LOOK PINK

MORAL: Never marry a DOCTOR She'll spoil your love
********** **********

Boy propoz 2 a girl-
Ye-Raat
Ye-subah
Ye-Hawa
Ye-ChanD
Ye-Ghatayen
Ye-Nadia
Ye-Kinare
Girl-Sale Pyar Kar Rha H Ya Environmental Study padha rha Ha

Faqeer- Ek Rupay De Do
Lady- Sharam Nai Aati, Itne Smart, Khubsurat, Handsome Ho K Bheek Mangte Ho
Faqeer- Acha Darling, Phir Ek Pappi Hi De De

Thursday, 3 November 2011


Small Kids Love Story-
Uske Kadam Jidhal Jidhal Pale,
Maine Wo Jagah Chum Li,
Ol Wo Bewafa Meli Mummy Chhe Boli,
Aapta Betta Mitti Khata Hai

UNMARRIED PERSON'S THOUGHT-
'Tajmahal Banana Hai Par Mumtaz Milti Nahi'
&
MARRIED PERSON'S THOUGHT-
'Tajmahal Banana Hai Par Mumtaz Marti Nahi'

'Kacha Papad-Pakka Papad' To Koi B Bol Leta Hai
Kuch Naya Try Karo
Isse Fast Bol Ke Dikhao To Jaane,
'Shruti' Ni Putri 'Kruti'
Haso Nahi Bolo

Wednesday, 2 November 2011


Sir: Angrezo Ne CHAND par PANI
aur BARAF ki Khoj Kr Li Hai.
Batao isse Tumne Kya Sikha
Santa: Bas Hume Ab sirf DAARU
aur NAMKEEN Leke Jana hai..

PATNI-Maine Tumhe bina dekhe shadi ki. Can you belive That?
PATI-Aur meri himmat dekho Ki, Maine Tumko dekhne Ke baad B TumSe Shadi Ki.

Sonu-Tune Jis Ladki Ko Swiming Pool Me Dubne Se Bachaya Tha, Usne Fasi Lga K Sucide Kr Li
Monu-Arre Nai,Use To Maine Sukhane K Liye Tang Dia Tha

Tuesday, 1 November 2011


1 larki road pe khadi thi 1 larka bike pe jata hae.wapas aata hae aur usse puchta hai
pehchana kya
Girl nai
Boy kya yaar Abhi to samne se gaya tha.

'My LOVER Is My Life'
Ye Padh K 1 Wish Maango
Maang Li Na
.
.
.
.
Ab Ye Wish Tabhi Puri Hogi Jab
Aap Ye Msg Apne
'PAPA' Ko Forward Karoge

Aftr Breakup BF-
Dil Me 1 Jajbat H Dabau Kaise
Ruswa Na Ho Jao Chupau Kese
Tanha Chor Gyi Ho Mujhe Jab Se
Kasam Se Kitna Khush Hu Batau Kese.

Monday, 31 October 2011


What would happen if women ruled the world?
.
.
.
.
.
There would be no wars.
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other... :D

I Told My Dad That I Want a Blackberry Or an Apple..
He Replied-
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aam Ka Season Hai Beta.. Aam Kha, Aam

I'm desperately trying to find out who r these 4 people so interested in my life.. ?
As
.
.
Parents keep sayin"Chaar LOG dekenge toh kya bolenge"

Sunday, 30 October 2011



Shaadi me ek SMART ladka ek ladki se: Aap dance karogi..?
Ladki sharma ke boli: Yes ...
Ladka pyaar se:
Toh fir aapki kursi main le jaaun??.




Zindagi Ki Race Me Agar Sab Se First Aana Chahte Ho To..
Uska Ek Hi Secret Hai..
Kisi Ko Batana Mat Plz,
Akele Bhago



Patni- Tumhe Kuch Yaad Bhi Rehta Hai..
..Aaj Humari 'WEDDING ANNIVERSARY' Hai
Pati- Oh, Mai To Bhul Hi Gaya Tha..
..Aao 2 Minute Ka Maun Rakhe

Saturday, 29 October 2011

Nokia Connecting people


Wikipedia I know evrythng
Google I have evrythng
Facebook I know evrybody
Internet Without me U all were nthng
Electricity BAS BAS AWAAZZ NEECHEY


Height of insult-
Professor to a student in classroom- hey  wake up ur neighbnur
Student- tune sulaya hai to tu hi utha de...
Student rocks..
Bhaut Samay phale ki baat hai
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Isiliye yaad nahi hai

Friday, 28 October 2011



Jungle me sapera been liye baitha tha
wah wah
Jungle me sapera been liye baitha tha
Saap aur b kamina tha,
Wo earphone lagaye baitha tha.. :-P :D

Baap- Tumne Apni Mummy Se Unchi Aawaz Me Baat Ki.?
Beta- Mujhe Pata Hai Ki
Apko Jalan Ho Rahi Hai..
..Kyo Ki Aap Aisa Nahi Kar Sakte

Santa Kangal Hone Par Biwi Se Bola-
'Tum Bacho Ko Nani Ke Yaha Bhej Do
Tum Apni Maa Ke Pass Chali Jao
Mera Kya Hai,
Mai Sasural Chala Jaunga'

Thursday, 27 October 2011


ek Ladki ka dil sahi mayno me kab toot'ta hai
.
.
.
.
.
Jab vo apne jaise Print ka suit Mohalle ki 2ri Ladki ko pehne dekhti hai...


Teacher: Paani me Rehne wale 5 janwaroon k naam btao.??

Baby Student: Mendak..

Teacher: 4 aur btao
...
Baby Student: Mendak ki Mummy, Mendak k Papa,

Mendak ki Behan Aur Mendak ki Item.. ;) :D :D

Boy-I Luv U
Girl-Bt I Luv Sm1 Else
B-OK No Problm,Ur Hapines Is More Imp 4 Me Than Ur Luv
Moral-
Jaha Kuch Nahi Kr Skte Waha Ache Dialog De Do

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

This Diwali I wish you get a lot of crackers but
you don't get fire to light them.


Aapko miss karna roz ki baat hai,
Yaad karna aadat ki baat hai,
Aap se duur rehna kismat ki baat hai,
Magar aap ko jhelna himmat ki baat hai..


Love Story

Wo boht haseen thi mujhe boht pyari lagti thi, Last friday main us k ghar gaya wo darwazay pr aai
Main usay daikh raha tha
Us nay bhi mujhay daikha, wo qarib aai to mainay himat ki Or aahista se kaha CHANDA

Wo muskurai main khush ho ghaya.
Wo andr gai aur Phir wapis aai. us ne 100 rupay meray hath pe rakh diye,
Mainay herat se pucha Ye kya?

Wo boli , Chanda.

A Touching Story
A Little Boy Saw A Puppy.
He Went Near It & Touched
It... Again He Touched It...
Again He Touched It.
Oh! What A Touching Story

20 million sales of idea connection
increased only by a spelling mistake
.
.
.
The mistake was....
''An Idea Can Change Your WIFE."

Tuesday, 25 October 2011



1 Bhikhari Ko Lottry lagi to Us ne Mandir banwaya
2nd-Tune Mandir Q banwaya?
Bhikhari-Iske Saamne ab Main Akele hi Bheek manguga.
Solid investment


Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 a post in Microsoft USA. Few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates

Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference-

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi hai."
Every1 was delighted. He continued"Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter padhkar sunaungaa ? par letter angrezi mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga."

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad - Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiya
You do not meet - Aap to milte hi nahin ho
our requirement - Humko to zarurat hai
Please do not send any further correspondence - Ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin
No phone call - Phoonwa ka bhi zarurat nahin hai
shall be entertained - Bahut khaatir ki jayegi
Thanks - Aapka bahut dhanyavad

Bill Gates - Tohar Bilva

Painfull Line Said By a Girl To Her BoyFriend After BreakUp..
.
.
.
.
.
Hey Bhagwan..
Aab Mera Kharcha Kaun Uthayega

Monday, 24 October 2011


Why is FaceboOk such a hit?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It wOrks on the principle that-

''PeOple are mOre interested in Others life than their Own''

?1 Larkay Ne 1 Larki K0 Purpose
Kiya Through Msg

Larki Ne 2 Din Mein Us Se Shaadi
Karli, Yeh S0ch Kar K K0i Itna Sara
Pyar Kesey Kar Skta Hai!

Socho Larkay Ne Kia Likha H0ga
Msg Mein

I Love U Itna

"B.Com" Ka Syllabus Hai Jitna... ;->



2Mchr Bate Kr Rhe The
1st Bola-Mai Dctr Bnuga.
2ndBola-Main Engineer Bnuga
Itne Me Aunt Ne MoRTIN Jla Di.
Mchr Bole Sali Ne Career Khrb KrDiya


Doctor: Bachey ko paani dene se pehle ubaal lena chahiye.
.
.
.
SANTA: woh to theek hai ji per ubalney se bacha mar to nahi jayega..??

Sunday, 23 October 2011


Ek Sharabi 'Vivah' Film Dekh Kar Ghar Aaya Aur Biwi Se Bola-
'Tujhe Pi Kar Me Dekhu, Mujhe Hak Hai..
..Tu Bhi Piti Hai Daru, Mujhe Shak Hai'

1 Larkay Ne 1 Larki K0 Purpose
Kiya Through Msg

Larki Ne 2 Din Mein Us Se Shaadi
Karli, Yeh S0ch Kar K K0i Itna Sara
Pyar Kesey Kar Skta Hai!

Socho Larkay Ne Kia Likha H0ga
Msg Mein

I Love U Itna
"B.Com" Ka Syllabus Hai Jitna... ;->


Auto Me Couple Romance Kr Rahe The
AutoWala Dekh Raha Tha
Aage Ja K Auto Pol Se Takraya
AutoWale Ne Sar Patak K Bola-
Ab Samja Titanic Q Dubi

Saturday, 22 October 2011



Shakespeare once said:
"I'm going to washroom!!"
Tum kya samjhay? :P
Oye yarr Shakespeare aam batein b krta tha
Hr time quotes nai marta tha! :D



Zor se chali hawa udd gaya kutta
Wah wah
Zor se chali hawa,
... udd gaya kutta
Phir
Phir kya?
Ruk gayi hawa
Or
gir gaya kutta
Common sense yaar



Best quote of advertisment
written in front of a famous
beauty parlour
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here
She might b ur grand mother

Friday, 21 October 2011



Jab Koi SMS Nahi Krta
Tab Itna Gussa Aata Hai
Dil To Chahta Hai Ki Chappal Utar Kar
.
.
.
Aaram Se Baith Jau Aur Sochu, Balance Hi Nahi Hoga






2 commrce studnts
X-oh sry yaar heard abt ur breakup
Y-yup
X-u mst b sad na
Y-no yaar v r commrce stdnts
I hv kept 1 gf as reserve 4doubtful debts






Patni- Tum Abhi Dinnar Karna Chahte Ho
Pati- Ha.. Ha, Lekin Ye To Batao Khane Ki Chezo Me Choice Kya Kya Hai
Patni- Sirf 2 Choice,
'Ha' Ya 'Na'


Teacher: What's ur name?
Student: My name is Nageshwar  laxman yakkundi.
Teacher: It's too long. Make it short & sweet
Student:
"na_la_yak"!! :-P

Thursday, 20 October 2011



Jab Wo GirlFriend Thi
Mai Bolta Tha Wo Sunti Thi
Mangetar Bani
Wo Bolti, Mai Sunta Tha
Jab Se Biwi Bani
Hum Dono Bolte Hai, Mohalla Sunta Hai


Sweet flirt :-
Boy: Why havent u had a boyfrnd yet ?
Girl: M nt allowd to hav a bf, y dnt u hv a girlfrnd ?
Boy: cz u r nt alwd 2 hv a boyfrnd yet


Snta-Dr Ne Kaha Tha K TV Cabel Se Bache Kharab Hote Hai Aur Padhai B Nai Krte, Maine Cabel Katwa Dia
Btna-Good
S-Ab Maine Dish TV Laga Liya Hai



Sonu Bache Ki Report Lene Hospital Gya
Report Bohat Kharab Thi
Wo Bache Se Bola- Oy School Te School
Tenu Ethey B Meri Izat Da Koi Kheyal Nahi

Wednesday, 19 October 2011



KID: Mom, Did you see me before I was born?
Mom: No, I didn't.
Kid: Then after I was born how did you know its me?



Boy Ask a Girl- VIDAI K Time Ladki Q Roti Hai
Girl- Agar Tujhe Pata Chale Ki Ghar Se Dur Le Ja K Koi
Tujse Bartan Manjvayega To Tu Kya Nachega



Government says.
Educate a girl & she ll educate four people in a home
But while she is studying in a college fifty boys get failed.
What to do?

Tuesday, 18 October 2011



Teachar-Agar koi school k samne Bomb Rakh deta h to kya kroge
Stu-1-2 ghante dekhenge
Agar koi le jata h to theek h Warna Staff Room me rkh denge


Santa Got Call From a News Channel..

They Asked Him- 'Kya Aap Anna Hazare Ke Saath Hai'

Santa Said- 'Nahi Abhi Movie Dekhne Aya Hu'

A drunk man
arrives late at home.
He knows his wife won't open
the door, so he decides to
pretend he bought her flowers&
knocks at the door...
Wife: Who is it ?
Drunk: I bring flowers for the
pretty lady...
Wife opens the door&says:
Where are the flowers?
Drunk: Where is the pretty
lady ? :P :P



Patni-Jante Ho, Maine 20 Somwar K Upwas Kiye Tab Ja Kr Tumhe Paya Hai
Pati-Ye Sab Nahi Krti To Kya Hota
Patni-Tumse Bhi Koi Gaya Guzra Milta

Monday, 17 October 2011



Americans fart and say---excuse me!
:) Britishers fart and say---pardon me!
:) Japanese fart and say-forgive me!
N
:) Indians fart and say--not me

A girl was crying bitterly.

Mom: What happened dear?

Daughter: Mom do i look like a wicked witch?
...
Mom: No!

Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?

Mom: No!

Daughter: Is my nose flat?

Mom: No baby!

Daughter: Am i fat like a bulldog?

Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!

Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom


Girl - Wat r u doin?
Boy-I ws doin a job wid TIMEs OF INDIA bt nw I left!
Girl-O God y?
Boy-kaun saala subah subah uthe aur paper daalne jaaye

Sunday, 16 October 2011

1 Baar Aadmi kO
Raste mE Patthar Mila
UspE Likha Tha
Patthar kO Palat Lo
Kuch Ban Joge
Jaise Hi Usne Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha
ULLU Ban Gaya



Which 3 Letters Can Change a Girl Into a Women.?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Think..
?
?
?
?
Think Hard..
?
?
?
?
?
AGE....!!!




Snta-meri biwi bahut kharchili he
Jb B dekho 100/,200/ rs mangti rehti he
Bnta-wo un paiso ka krti kya He
S-Kya pata maine kbi diye hi nai..

Saturday, 15 October 2011



Chehre pe hai smile,
ankho mein hai tear
Chehre pe hai smile
ankho me hai tear
objects in convex mirror r closer than they appear.


1 Baar Engineering k Sbhi Profesrs Ko 1 Plane Me Bithaya Gya.
Fir Announce Kiya Gya Ki-
"YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA H"
Sb Profesrs Utr Gye
Pr Principls Bethe Rahe...
Logo Ne Pucha-
Apko Drr Nahi Lagta?
Principle-
"Mujhe Apne Studnts Pr Pura Bharosa Hai.
.
.
Start Hi Nahi Hoga..


Jis chehre ko dekh kar haste the hum....
Aaj usine Rula diya!!!
Unhone to phone kiya nai, Humne kiya to....
Caller tune tha
Tujhe Bhula Diya

Friday, 14 October 2011



Nurse To Patient With Bleeding Head- Ur Name
Patient- Santa
Nurse- Birth Date
Patient- 28/Feb/85
Nurse- Married
Patient- No, Car Accident..



CLASSIC INSULT-
Girl To Her BF- Mai Abhi Abhi Beauty Parlour Se Aa Rahi Hu..
Boy- Arre..
.
.
.
.
.
Aaj Bhi Bandh Tha Kya



Snta-What's D Difference Between Mother's & GF's Tears?
Classic Answer By Banta-
Mother's Tears Effect Our HEART & GF's Tears Effect Our POCKET.

Thursday, 13 October 2011



Whats the best way to take revenge...??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Filling a person's shampoo bottle wth veet..!!:-D



1 Car ki nilami ho rhi thi 1lakh,2la,3la
GOLU shocked-Is khatare me aisa kya h
Seler-Iske 10 acidnts hue h & hr bar sirf Bv mari h
GOLU:8 Lakh..


Teacher: What's ur name?
Student: My name is Nageshwar  laxman yakkundi.
Teacher: It's too long. Make it short & sweet
Student:
"na_la_yak"!! :-P

Wednesday, 12 October 2011


Biwi (Gusse Me) Pati Se-

Jab Dekho Jeb Me Sharab Ki Bottal Rakhe Rehte Ho
Pati (Pyar Se)-
To Tu Kya Chahti Hai,
Har Samay Hotho Se Lagaye Rakhu


Beta-Car Ki Chabi Do, College Me Function H


Dad-Car Q
B-5 Lakh Ki Car Me Jaunga To Rob Pdega
D-Ye Le 5/, 25 Lakh Ki Bus Me Ja, Zyada Rob Pdega


Tuesday, 11 October 2011



Wife- mai Driver ko
Naukari se nikaal rahi hu,
Kyuki aaj mai dusri baar marte marte bachi hu..
Husband- Please yaar,
Use ek mauka to aur do



Sadhu- Kuch Daan Karo Beta
Santa- Ye Lo 5/-Rs
.
Sadhu (Khush Ho Kar)- Mang Beta Kya Mangta Hai
.
Santa- Babaji, Mere 5/-Rs Wapas De Do



Madam-Itne Din Se Kaha Tha
Student-Bird Flu Tha
M-Par Ye To Birds Ko Hota Hai
S-Apne Mujhe Insan Samjha Hi Kaha Hai, Roz To Murga Bana Deti Ho

Monday, 10 October 2011


Dog1:Mai is Area me naya hu
mujhe yahan k kutto k Boss se milna hai.
Dog2:shh..Chup! Awaz mat karo boss msg padh raha hai.!
Padho ye msg padho


I saw a dream last nit
Only U & me Sitting 2gether
U were luking at me continuously
Bcoz
.
I was Eating Maggi & U were saying
"1 Chammach de do"


Ma-Q ro rahe ho
Santa-Sir ne mara
Ma-Q
Santa-wo Banta ko dant rahe the to maine use misal di dar mat JO KUTTE BHONKATE H WO KAT TE NAHI

Mr.See and Mr.Saw
One day Mr.See Saw sea & Mr.Saw didnt see sea. See Saw & jumped in sea Saw didnt see sea but jumped in sea. See saw saw in sea & saw saw see in sea. See saw both saw sea and both Saw and See were happy to see sea..
Dimag Kharab hua ab Share kar ke Sabka dimag kharab karo

Sunday, 9 October 2011


Kid (phone par): Madam, mera beta aaj school nahi aayega?
Madam: Aap kaon bol rahe ho?
Funny kid: Mere papa bol rahe hai.

Economical thought:
The best line which helps to save money when going on dinner with your GF.
Bol kya khaayegi Moti? ;-)

One of da sweetst lines said in LOVE.
"Mai kho gaya tmhare pyaar me, tum bhi kho jao"
English translation-
"I m in ur luv, U ALSO GET LOST"

Saturday, 8 October 2011

People SMOKE & DRINK for few day & get addicted Look at me I m STUDYING since CHILDHOOD bt not yet ADDICTED to STUDIES Dis is called SELF CONTROL

Nurse- Udas Kyu bethe Ho sir
Doctor- Dopahar ko jiska Operation kiya Tha woh Mar gaya
Nurse- Sir, Woh operation nahi POSTMORTAM tha

Santa ne Beti ke Room me cigrette Dekha..
Oh God, She Smokes
Wisky Dhekha..
Oh God, She Drinks
Fir Ladke ko Dekha..
Thank God, Ye sab iska hai

Friday, 7 October 2011


Type of Proposal
1-I love u
2-I want to Spend my rest of life wid u
3-Will u Marry me?
Bt the latest & favourite 1 now
wanna be my Chammak Challo

Santa's Son Was filling a form..
Son- Papa, Mother toungue me kya likhu?
Santa- Likh de Very Long and Uncontrolable

Why did Santa fall out the window?
Ans: He was ironing the curtain.

Thursday, 6 October 2011


Blackmailing in recession
Employee: Agar aapane meri Salary Nahi Badhai to main sare Office ko Bata dunga ki Aapane meri Salary Badha di hai!!!

Interviewer: Imagine, in a Closed room howcan you escape if it caught fire?
Santa: Simple,
Stop imagining.........

Sir Y r u fighting
Santa This fool left the answer sheet blank
Sir So what?
Santa Even I did the same think now teacher will think we both copied

Wednesday, 5 October 2011


1 deewar par likha tha
'Yaha kutte SUSU karate Hai'
Santa ne waha SUSU kia, Fir Haas ke Bola
Ise kehate Hi Dimag SUSU maine kia naam kutte ka Aaya

Gr8 lines by Me:
Relatives who don't wish me HAPPY B'DAY on my birthday have no right to contact me


on my RESUL DAY

Tuesday, 4 October 2011


Father hey Son! why is your mother sitting so silent today?
Son nothing Dad She asked for lipstick and i heard GLUE STICK
Father God bless u Son

Boyfriend:
Mujhe Maaf Kar Do Maine Tumse Chupaya.Meri Mangni Ho Chuki Hai

Girlfriend:

Aray Koi Baat Nahi Chalo ao Aaj Main Tumhe Apne Bachon Se Milwati Hun.


1st Woman: How Your Husband Come Exactly on Time???
2nd Woman: I Made a Rule
.
.
.
.
Romance Will Start Sharp at 9 With You or Without you

Monday, 3 October 2011


Teri Khamoshi or udasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake ae dost
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo to sham ko teri mummy ne bataya k aj teri chapal se pitai hui hai

Best Error message of the century......!!!!
An Error shown by a computer :
No Keyboard Connected !!
press F1 to continue..!!

Sunday, 2 October 2011


Daku Bank Lutne gye
Gun Ghar me bhul gye
Fir b bank lut liya
Kese
Bank Manager
SANTA tha, Bola koi baat nai I Trust u, Gun mujhe kal Dhikha dena
Ek paagal Aadmi ne dusare paagal ko phone kar ke kya poocha..?

?

?
Socho Socho..
?

Abe.. Tera phone Number kya hai?

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Duniya buri ho sakati hai Tum nahi
Log bure ho sakate hai Tum nahi
Duniya bewaffa ho sakati hai Tum nahi
Pagal theek ho sakate hai....? Tum nahi

Britisher=Why All U Indians R in different colours? Look We all r White!
Abdul Kalam=HORSES
r in Differnt colours
But DONKEYS
r all d same!!

Friday, 30 September 2011

Santa Banta Ki Khub Pitai Huyi.
Par Q?.
Qki.
Dono B'Day Party Me Muft Ka Khana Khate Pakde Gye aur.
Kehne Lage:Hum Ladki Walo k Taraf Se Hai

Wife: aap Bahut Mote Ho gaye ho,
santa: Tum b To kitni Moti Ho gai Ho,
wife: mai to maa Banne wali hu,
Santa: Mai b to Baap banne wala hu.

Santa Se Puchha Ki-?Tum Next Janam Me Kya Ban na Pasand?Karoge?
Santa-? A Cockroach?.
Why?.
Bcoz Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai.

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Girls r 70%beauty Girls r 75%sweet Girls r 85%naughty Girls r 90%cute Girls r 100%lovely totally 70+75+85+90+100=Girls are pakka 420 Be care full.

I asked my heart-
Wat is d diff b/w lOve & friendship?
Heart replied,
my work is to supply blood-
Dont ask me out of syllabus..

10 gals under a small umbrella
But nobody gets wet...
HOW?...
cuz it was a SUNNY DAY!
Moral-dont think like A scientist

Obama 2 anna
How poor india is
anna: Beta tumhara pura desh jitna OIL khata he na utana to shanivar ko hm SHANIDEV ko chada dete hai

Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

Wednesday, 28 September 2011


Bhagat- Hey Bhagwan promotion karwa dena 51 rupees ka bhog aapke charanon mein rakh raha hoon
God: Pagal hai marwayega kya? Anna dekh raha hai
santa grlfrnd ko ghar le gya
sab darwaze,khirkiyan ,band kar di
light off kr k
uske pas aya or bola:
Dekho meri watch m light jalti hai??
Sir: Muhavre Ka Istemal Karo
"Muh Me Pani Aana".
Santa: Jaise Hi Maine Nal Ko Muh Laga K Nal Chalu Kiya,
Mere Muh Mai Pani Aa Gaya.
Message from mobile operators
in year 2020!
Dear customer,
Your wife can become a mother
without your struggle Just sms
"CHILD" to 54826

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Most STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situation.

1. At movies: hey! Wt r u doing here?

Me: I sell tickets in black here. Don't u know?
...
2. In bus:A fat lady steps on my feet: Sorry did that hurt?

Me: No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia . y don u try again?:O

3. When i got woken up at midnight by a call: sorry! Were u sleeping?

Me: Na! I was doing research on whether monkeys in Africa marry or not. U thought i was sleeping,u stupid fool?

4. when they c me with shorter hair: hey Have u had a haircut?

Me: Nah! Its autumn. my hairs shedding.!

5. When sm1 call on land-line n asks where r u?

Me: M in market with telephone around my neck
Riste tod deti hai GF
Insan ko Tanha kar deti hai GF
Na Aane Dena Dil ke paas kabhi inko
Qki dil se dhadkano ko juda kar deti hai GF
GF bole to Galat Fehmi

Friend 1: What's Your

Internet Speed.. ??

.

Friend 2: 100 Mbps &

What's Your's.. ??

.

Friend 1: 100 Rbps..!!

.

Friend 2: What Is Rbps.. ??

.

Friend 1: Rajini Bytes

Per Seconds..!!! ;-) :-P :D 

Monday, 26 September 2011

BIMAARI In Bollywood Style :

1. Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale : FEVER

2. Tarap tarap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi : HEART ATTACK

3. Juda hoke bhi tu mujh main kahin baki hai: CONSTIPATION

4. Birri jalaiye jigar se piya jigar maa barri aag hai: ACIDITY

5. Tujh main rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karun: CATARACT

6. Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisise ab kya kehena: ALZEIMERS

7. Man dole mera tan dole: VERTIGO ;-) :-P :D