All Working Tricks

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Tufaani bejjati.
Boy n girl on fb:
girl:- You never smile na??
boy:-How can you say this??
girl:- Your smiling pics are missing
here
boy:- ok then …do u bath daily??
girl:- ya ofcourse.. why are you
asking ??
boy:- no, I haven't seen any
pic…. :D :P xD

Maula ji ki shaadi nahi ho rahi thi wo mannat magne gaye.
waha unki maa kho gayi maula ji bole
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"""yaaa khuda kaisi Hai teri khudaii""""
apni to mili nahi aur abba ki bhi gawaii....;) :p

boy- pen hai?
Grl- nahi. Thodi der baad.
Boy- pen hai?
... Grl- nahi bola na.
Boy- pen hai pen?
Grl- nahi hai, aur abki bar pucha to to
hathode se sar phod dungi tera. Kuch der baad
.
.
Boy- hathoda hai?
Grl-nahi.
Boy- to phir pen dena :):):D:P . :D:P

Exam me sir ne copy karne diya,
aur
kaha bahar ye mat kehna ke
maine copy karne diya tha.
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Naughty Student - Na ji hum
kahenge,
Sir bahut stirct the,
Harami the,
Kutte ne hilne bhi nahi diya,
Maar jaye sala...xP :D

Dabaang effect in school:

Dabaang effect in school: 
teacher: tumhare saare answer galat hai, marks kaise de??
student: kamaal karte ho sir ji, marks hi to maang rahe hai pyaar se de dijiye warna thappad maar ke bhi le sakte hai....
teacher: battamiz kya bakwas kar rahe ho??
student: battamiz se yaad aaya sir ji aapki beti kaisi hai?
teacher: gadhe, nikal ja class se...
student: chup chap number de dal takle, warna answer sheet me itne ched karenge ki confuse ho jaoge, ki sign kaha kare or zero kahan de......

Zameen par rehne wali janwer

Teacher: Zameen par rehne wali janwer bacche deti hai, Hawa mein urne wali andey deti hai! Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi urti hai or bacche bhi deti hai??
Student:"Air Hostess!"

Examiner- Ye kon sa bird hai ?
Iski taang dekhkar btao,
Student- Nahi pata,
Examiner- Tum fail ho gye, Wt is ur name?
Student- Le meri taang dekh kar bata..:P

Santa nai sudhrega...:-P
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Santa Ko Thane Mein
Laya Gaya, Aur Police
Inpector Ke Aage Pesh
Kiya Gaya
Inspector: “ Tumne Is
Bechare Bikhari Ko Itna
Kyu Maara? ”
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Santa: “ Mene Isko Kitni
Baar Bola Ki Main Aisa
Waisa Aadmi Nahi Hoon,
Fir Bhi Saala mujhse Bolta Hai,
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Ek Baar De De Baba“''';) :-D

Beti:- Papa kaal aapake Gharse ek Member kaam ho jayega
Next day Santa ki Beti bhaag gayi
Santa :- Ladaki ne kaam to Galat kiya
Paar thi wo JYOTISH

1 baccha potty karane khule me gaya

Waha ek Pig baitha tha
Pig ko dhekh ke Baccha whase bina potty kie jane laga

PIG chillaya
Saadda Haqq Etthe Rakh

Ultimate Insult
Teacher to Student:-
Jo dusare ko apani baat na samjha sake wo gadha hota hai?

Student:- Sir kya matlab mai samjha nahi

RAMLAL :- Thakur Sahab Gabbar bahu ki Ijjat loot raha hai

Thakur :- Toh

Ramlal :- Kuch nahi Bahu puch rahi thi aap badla loge ya main paise le lu

old is gold
1 Amir Ladki ko Exam me Garib
Parivar
par Essay likhne ko kaha gaya.. ESSAY:
1 Garib parivar tha
Pita garib,
Maa garib,
Bache garib..
Ghar me 4 nokar thewo b garib. Car b tuti
hui
Scorpio thi.. Bacho k paas purane N95
mobile
the.. Ghar me keval 4 2nd hand AC
the.. Sara parivar badi muskil se Aish
kar raha
tha..:D:D

Banta ped pe chada to upr baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upr kyu aya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple sath laya hu.

Madam Ne Class Mein Bachho Se Kaha: “My Teacher Par 10Line Likho”
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Thodi Der Baad Pappu Ne Uthakar Poocha
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Pappu: “ Madam, Mast Maal Ko English Mein Kya Kehate Hai? “:-

1 Gaon me kisi buzurg ke mar jane
se School me chutti ho gayi,
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... School se aate waqt Bacchon ne
do Buzurgo ko dekha to ek bola :-
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Dekh,do chutti or ghoom rahi
h....:-):-)

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere laakhoon
rupaye fase huye hain

Unlukiest child was born.
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.
..........
After six month,he called his mother's name,
Mother died.
Father: "Thank god, he didn't take my name."
..........
After one year,he called his grandfather's name,
Grandfather died.
Father:" Thanked god, he didn't take my name."
..........
After two year,he called his grandma's name",
Grandma died.
Father:" Thank god, he didn't take my name".
..........
After three year,he called his father's name.
Father was in great tension ,he thought.. he was going to die,
but nothing happen....
Father:"Hurray,i survived,i surrived,".
...........
But uncertainly,
his neighbour uncle died..
n father shockedddd.... :D :P

Jo samajha Like kare
Baki Pogo dhekhe

Mohabbat ke Raste main har waqt Dard milega..
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Wah Wah
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Main soch raha hi iss raste me hospital khol loon..
Mast chalega :)

A boy Found Aladin's Lamp,
He Asked Him To Increase All Girls Brain Ten Times More..!!
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He Laughed & Said:

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Multiplication Does Not Apply On Zero..!! 8-) 8-)

Height of memory loss...:p
A student open his lunch box at road side
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. To check wheather he is going to school
or coming back from school... :D

Height of English & patience :

Girl and boy on a chat :

Girl : Hey wassup :)

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Boy : Lux coziii baniyan with duke T-shirt nice na..?

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Girl : Acccha..!! Ha nice so kaise ho..??

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Boy : I'm absolutly awsomm yar

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Girl : Ohh "thank God" so any night plan..?

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Boy : No i have day/nght Net pack. but why..??

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Girl : kuch nahi Aise hi toh family mein kaun kaun hai

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Boy : I have 2 parents 1 sisters and 1 younger bro i didn't explain you he is
too naughty.

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Girl : Great so Are you studying na..?

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Boy : Ya He is younger so strong too :)

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Girl : Hey idiot you made me mad ??

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Boy : He he yup 3 idiots awsom film I like rajuu role's most & sorry maid rakhne ka decision only mums take

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Girl : Chup ho ja saale illiterate

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Boy : Tu chup ho ja sidhe keh de english nahin aati Chali hai chat krne
aur haan English literature le kar padha hu kya kr legi gawar si :P

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Moral : Ladki patane mein bhi education kaam aati hai toh padho aur akhir jab pdhega India tab hi to badhega..!! ;) x) :P :D \m/

School bus mein driver k peeche
betha
bacha khud se batain kar raha tha..
agar meri maa hathni aur baap
hathi hota
to main ek chota hathi hota ..
hahaha..
agar maa chirya aur baap chira
hota to
main 1 chira hota...
hahaha.
agar maa sherni aur baap sher
hota to
main chota sher hota...
Hahaha.
driver ko ghussa aa gaya:
aur bola agar teri maa kamini aur
baap kanjar hota
to tu kia hota ?
bacha:
phir main bus driver hota... :P:D

MORAL-
Moral Woral kuch nahi, bachcha thoda hoshiyar niklaa...

?==>JoKe Of ThE dAy<==
A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher
::
"kya chote bachoon k bhi bache hoote hain?"
::
Teacher nahi kabhi nahi
::
::
boy said to girl: dekha tu bekar me dar rahi thi.....
Hahahahahaha

Naag bola Nagin se
mere gale me tere
pyar ka funda hai

Nagin boli naag se
Mera khayal chhorr de

Mera Boyfriend Anaconda hai

Wife:
Aaj mai towel me thi aur sasurji aa gaye

Husband
Phir tumane kya kiya?

Wife
Me to towel upar karake ghunghat bana liya

Every Indian Women is “RANI LAXMI BAI” in her Life.
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RANI: Before Marriage..!

LAXMI: After Marriage..!!

BAI: After Children..!!! ;) :D :P

old is gold
1 Amir Ladki ko Exam me Garib
Parivar
par Essay likhne ko kaha gaya.. ESSAY:
1 Garib parivar tha
Pita garib,
Maa garib,
Bache garib..
Ghar me 4 nokar thewo b garib. Car b tuti
hui
Scorpio thi.. Bacho k paas purane N95
mobile
the.. Ghar me keval 4 2nd hand AC
the.. Sara parivar badi muskil se Aish
kar raha
tha..:D:D

Love is DOCOMO,
do the new.

Marriage is IDEA
can change ur life.

Wife is HUTCH
where ever you
go she follows
But Friendship is Airtel
ek atut bandhan

Himesh Reshmiya Ka
Kutta Ghar Se
Bhag Gaya.
Dusre Kutto Ne Puchaa..
Tu q Bhaga?
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. ..
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Kutta:Sala Raat ko Gane
Ki Practice Woh
Krta Hai,
Subah Log Muje Marte
Hai. :-(

Ek Admi Raat Doston ki
mehfil se late ghar
gaya...
Next Day...
Friends ne pucha..
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Wife ne kuch kaha to
nahi..??
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Admi : Kuch khash nahi..
Yeh Do dant to mai
waise bhi nikalwanay
wala tha....:p:p

Daaru ki wajah se barbaad
Sharabi ne kasam khai
Aur Ghar se Daaru ki khaali bottles
fenkne laga
1st bottle fenk ke bola :- Teri
wajah se meri Naukari gayi
2nd fenk ke :- Teri wajah se mera
Ghar gaya
3rd fenk ke :- Teri wajah se meri
Biwi chali gayi
4th bottle uthayi to woh bhari hui
nikli
Sharabi bola :- "Tu side me ho ja
tu Bekasur hai" .... :p ;)

Mai yu hi pani ko gaur
se dekh raha tha yaro
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.
itne mein ek machli
nikal k boli
.
kamine, ghar me maa
behan nahi hai kya...?.
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.('.')>
<))
_/|_ ,,,, Lo ho gayi
bezzti ,,

I am the best I can prove it!!
I can put coffee in coffee cup
Can u put world in world cup??..
I can send my Number on your cell
Can u send your Cell on my Number??..
I can send my Address on ur mobile
Can u send ur mobile on my Address??..
Nahi
I can eat cream biscuit with cream
can u eat tiger biscuit with Tiger??

KAHA NA ONLY I AM THE BEST  :)

"

LOVE LETTER v/s EXAMPAPER
LOVE
Hazaro khayal,jinheshabdo me nhi likh pate.
EXAM
Hazaro shabd likhne padtehai jo khyalo me bhi nhiAate

"

Pathan Se Interview Me Pocha Gya:

K Agr 2 Mint K Liye Apko P.M Bana Dia Jaye To Ap Kia Kren Gy?

Pthan:Hum Maggi Noodles Banayga

Intrviwer:Why?

Pathn:2 Mint Me To Srf Maggi Bn Skta Hai

Intrvwer:Agr 5 Saal K Lye Bna Dia Jaye?

Pathan:Hum 5 Sal K Liye P.M Nhi Bnega

Intrvwer:Why

Pthan:Itna Maggi Kon Khayega? :p

"

HEIGHT OF ATTITUDE"-
Maa Bete Se-Uth Jaa Kmbakhat,
Dekh Suraj Kab Ka Nikal aya He.
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Beta-To Kya Hua Mamma
Wo Sota v To Mujhse Pehle he

"

"

Attitude of youth
"We r More Brilliant than Einstein and Newton..
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it's just dey Didn't Leave Anything
For us to invent

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Is Jamane Me Mat Nikalo Nera Ja Naja Uski Gali se....
*
!
aE sathiyon !!!
*
!
Verna uski maa kahegi..... kameena marte-2 b ek chakkar laga k gaya

"

Jis tarf Deku Apka Hi Naam Likha H,

Jis tarf Deku Apka Hi Naam Likha H,

Upr Most Wanted Niche Chappl Chor aur 50paise
InaaM LIkha H..('_')

Ladki Ne Ghar Se Bhaag Ke Shaadi Ki..
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5 Din Baad Wo Rote Huye Lauti..
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Dad : Ab Kyu Aayi Ho ??
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Ladki : Papa, Wo BMW Ka Driver Nikla,
iPhone Bhi China Waala Tha..!! :( ;) x)

Biwi banate samay Bhagwan ne kaha-
Achi aur Smajhdaar biwi Duniya k har kone me milegi
AUR FIR
BHAGWAN NE DUNIYA GOL BANA DI
Ab Dhoond lo kona

2 Judwa Bachche...
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1st Hans ke Lot Pot ho raha tha...
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2nd Udaas tha...
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Dad: Tum itna kyun Hans rahe ho...
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Son: Mummy ne itni thand mein...
dono bar isi ko Nehla Diya.. 

dulha:molvi saab aapki fee?
molvi:biwi ki khubsurti k mutabiq de do..

dulha 10rs. dekr jane lga.
hawa se dulhan ka naqab udh gya..

molvi:miya baki paise to le lo......:D:D:D 

Gabbar - Are o Sambha kitane aadmi the?

Sambha- Pata nahi Sarkar mai to Ladkiya dekh raha tha

A Paksitani Boy Got Admission In An American School.
Teacher : Whats Your Name ?

Boy : Ahmad
Teacher : No, Now You R In America Your Name Is Johny From Today.

Boy Went Home.
Mom Asked: How Was The Day Ahmad.
Boy : Im An American Now Call Me Johnny.
Mom & Dad Both Got Offended And Beat Him Up.

Next Day He Was Back To School, All Bruised.
Teacher :What Happend Johnny?

Boy : Ma'am, Just 4 Hours After I Became American,
I Was Attacked By Two Pakistanis :P 

Lovers decided to commit Suicide...
boy jumped first..:(
Girl didnt jump:-/

From that day started the concept of
.


Ladies First.. ;)

KID :- Why some of ur hair are
white dad ?

DAD : - Every time a son make his dad
unhappy ,
one of his father's hair turns white .....

... ... KID :- Now understand why
grandpa's hairs are all white...

Girl - which computer do u have?

Boy - I have a computer with intel core i7 processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card B-) 

Boy - Which computer do YOU have???

Girl - A PINK ONE !!!! ...::D :D :D 

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyun ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye


Banta: Toh phir ubalne kyu, kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye!

Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.
Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”

AAP aur PEPSI may 3 cheezain same hain.
1. Sab ko pasand ho,
2. Dono sweet ho Aur,
3. Dono me dimaag ki jagah dhakkan laga hai.

Teacher:Agar tum apni ammi ko MUM kahoge to
apni ammi se badi aur chhoti khala ko kya kahoge.
Sardar:Teacher Badi wali ko ~maxiMUM~
aur Chhoti wali ko ~miniMUM~.

Sardar apna mobile
Qabristan main dfna rha tha
.
Major Rohail:
Sardar G Ye kya kr rhe ho?
.
Sardar:
Yaar dukan wale ne kha hai k
Mobile "DEAD" ho gya hai