Din mein chain nahi, raat mein nind nahi, jee na lage kahi,
aey khuda kya ye pyar hain....?
Khuda:"Nahi beta,
Sabhi board exams walo ka yahi haal hain"

Bhakt : INDIA se USA Tk Road banao..

God: Mushkil hai, kuchh aur maango.

Bhakt:ladki ko aagyakaari aur samajhdaar banao.

God:Road single banau ya double.?

School tym mai jo sabse pehle test khatam kare
uske bare mai log sochte hai : "Oh! My god...he knows everything :O" Aur College mai jo sbse pehle test khatam kre uske bare
mai sochte hai : "hahahaha...he knows nothing:P

?3 reactions of a girl without a Boyfriend..
--------------- --------------- --------------- ----------
1) Main nahi padti in chakkaro me :|

2) Gharwale important hain aur unke saamne Bf kuch bhi nahi.. : )
...
3) Sab ladke kutte hote hain..:|
_______________ _______________ ______
Same girl after having boyfriend..

1) Yaar pata nahi kaise ho gaya pyaar.. Uske siway kuchnahi dikhta ab mujhe :s

2) Gharwalon ko manana padega kaise bhi.. I can't leave him :|

3) Wo baaki ladkon ki tarah kutta nahi hai... He loves me alot.. : )

:Boy:Tune Mera Dil Jalakar Raakh Kar Diya.
:

Girl : Teri Kurbaani Bekar Nahi Jayegi.
Raakh Muje Bhej
Dena,
Bartan Manjne Ke Kam Aayegi..!.

Rajasthani lady married a japanese
They had white Twins & were named

JO-HOYO SO-HOYO

following year they had a black baby. They named it

YO-KI HOYO.

Papa:- Beti badi
hokar kya karogi?

Beti:- shaddi :-))

... papa:- galat baat
hai, abhi se....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
kisi ka bura nahi
sochte beta.... :P :D

Teacher was teaching Mahabharat a to 6th std students.. .
Teacher:- Kans heard Devaki's 8th son would kill him...So he put Devaki&Vasudev in prison. 1st child was born...Kan s killed him by poison. 2nd...Kans killed by sword....3 rd was born...
(At this point, a boy raised his hand for a doubt)
The teacher asked :- What?
The boy said :-If Kans knew that the 8th son would kill him......t hen why did he put Devaki&Vasudev in SAME jail??????
Teacher fainted!!! !!:p:p:p

Why is the River Rich? 

Simple

It has two Banks!

Q : why is that difficult for us to be a superman??
A : because non of us dare to wear
our underwear over our pants in public!!!

Ek ladka ek ladki ko cafe meinakele baitha dekh kar ladki k table par gaya aur kaha:

kya main aap ke saath baith sakta hoon?

Ladki (Chillai): nahin, main aajraat tumhare saath nahin guzaar sakti... !

sab log dekhne lage..

ladka sharminda ho gaya..

kuch der baad ladki uske paas gayi aur maafi mangi aur kaha:

Main HUMAN NATURE ke upar study kar rahi hoon aur padh rahi hoon ke log sharminda ho kar kya mehsoos karte hain...

Ladka (Chillaya):
What...??
10 Hazar ek raat ke bahut zyada hain, kuch kam karo yaar...

Sab log ladki ko dekhkar hasne lage. .

Aur phir ladka aahista se bola: Aur le 11th walo se panga :P

RAJNI was PutinG his DoGs Tail in2 a
Pipe

Someone-oYe Pagal,
DoG's Tail wiLL nEvEr
becomE StraiGht.

Rajni-Yenna Rascala, its MY dog, I'm
just bendinG the Pipe.

Ek sardar k ghar me billi rehti
thi

Sardar billy se tang aakr use
kahin chhor aya,
ghar aaya to
billi us se phle aa chuki thi.
Sardar dubara kahi door chhor
k aya billi phir se pehle ghar
phuch gyi

Sardar ko gussa aya wo billi ko
bahut hi zyada door chhorne
gya.
Waha se wife ko phone kiya,
billy
ghar phuch gai ya nhi ?
Wife-ha phuch gyi
Sardar-us kaminy se bol mujhe
aa k le jay mai rasta bhool gaya
hu....

SANTA-Waiter aisi chai pilao jisko pee kar tan man jhum uthe Or badan machalne lage
Waiter-Sir humare yaha bhains ka dhudh aata hai NAGIN ka nahi

Santa:muje wo ladki pasand hai
.
.

Banta: uska 1 boyfriend hai.......
.
.
.
.
.
Snta:hr goalpost k aage goalkeeper hota h uska matlab ye nahi ki hm gol nahi kar sakte...............lol

Santa -Mere 3 Bete Engineer Ban Gye
Par
1 Kambakht DAKU Ban Gya...........

.
Banta -To Usko Ghar Se Nikal De................

..
.

.
.
SAnta -Yahi To Dikkat Hai,
Kama K Wahi To Lata Ha.:-)

Kanjoos ke bete ne kha:
"Papa meri GF pregnant ho gayi h.
50,000 mang rhi h, CHUP rehne ke." :(
.
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se paisede diye.
.
2 mahine baad dusra beta bola:
.
"Meri G F pregnant h 75,000 mang rhi h." :'(
.
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de diye.
.
6 mahine baad Kanjoos ki kuwari beti boli:
"Daddy, I am pregnant.!" ;)
.
.
.
.
Kanjoos ne usko gale se lagaya aur beti ka maatha chum ke kaha:
"shabaash beti, ab paise lene ki baari hamari hai !!" :D :D

Ek sardar k ghar me billi rehti
thi

Sardar billy se tang aakr use
kahin chhor aya,
ghar aaya to
billi us se phle aa chuki thi.
Sardar dubara kahi door chhor
k aya billi phir se pehle ghar
phuch gyi

Sardar ko gussa aya wo billi ko
bahut hi zyada door chhorne
gya.
Waha se wife ko phone kiya,
billy
ghar phuch gai ya nhi ?
Wife-ha phuch gyi
Sardar-us kaminy se bol mujhe
aa k le jay mai rasta bhool gaya
hu....

Santa Ki Patni - Raat Ko Mobile Charging Me kyo laga rahe ho, Blast Ho skta he..
Santa - Tu tension na le, maine Battery Nikal Di Hai.

OnCe sAnTa fArTeD In eNgLiSh cLaSs ,

tEaChEr: "wHaT Is tHiS" ?? ,
?
?
?
?
SaNtA : "ThIs iS My bAcK GrOuNd mUsIc" :D

Na Ishq Na Pyar
Na Mohabbat Yaro

Devdas Ki Tarah Jaan Mat Haaro

Na Chandramukhi Na Paro
Jo Achchi Lage
Usse hi
Line
Maaro.

Banta:Chaku Kyo Ubaal Rahe Ho?
Santa: Suicide Karne Ke Liye
BANTA: Phir Ubaalne Ki Kya Zarurat?
SANTA: Kahi Infection Na Ho Jaye.

SANTA-: Aaj maine machar ko confused kar diya.
BANTA-:wo kaise.?
SANTA-: Maine machardani bedroom main laga diya aur main hall me so gaya.

SARDAR to his wife: Aaj murgi to bhot tasty he kuch alag masala lagaya kya?
WIFE: Nahi ji murgi jal gai thi isliye BOROPLUS lagaya tha...

machhar song...Bhige pankh mere ,
pyasa dank mera ,lage amrit sa mujhe khoon tera ,
kabhi mere saat koi rat guzar ,
tujhe subah tk me de duga BUKHAR oh oh ooo.

Valentine's day is world safest
day..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Even terrorists are busy with their
girlfriends..!! :P

Today,DHOOM 3..
John & Hritik r on BIKE wid
speed of 1000 km/hr
&
suddenly
RaJni overtakes them with CYCLE..
& says,
Yenna RascaLaa
Save Fuellaa, Use
Cycallaa.... ;D

Wife to her Neta husband: aj to tumne kamal ka lecuture liya
Neta: <haste hue> sunne wale sb gadhe the
Wife: achchha tabhi to tum baar baar kah rhe the mere pyare bhaio mere pyare bhaio.....,......

‎2 boys r talking:
.
.
.
.
... .
.
1st boy: tu mast swimming krta hai re kaha pe sikha :-)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2nd boy: 'PANI ME' :-D :-p :-D

OnCe sAnTa fArTeD In eNgLiSh cLaSs ,

tEaChEr: "wHaT Is tHiS" ?? ,
↓
↓
↓
↓
SaNtA : "ThIs iS My bAcK GrOuNd mUsIc" :D

Hum ne to mohabbat ke nashe me use khuda bana diya...
Hosh to tab aaya jab us ne kaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Khuda kisi ek ka nahi hota....

arz kiya h , mujh ko samajh na aaya aaj tak teacher ka
ye funda ...
wah wah
mujhe bana deti thi murga aur
khud copy pe deti thi anda.

SHIV aur PARVATI kabhi computer nahi sikh paye.

Batao kyu..?

Ky0ki...

GANESHJI bar bar M0USE lekar bhag jate the..

If dentists make films,?the nameswill be -
*Daant ho na ho
*Jaanam brush karo
*Aa ab clean karen
*Kabhi teeth kabhi gum
*Humara daant aapke paas hai!:-)

Rose
Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

1970 ki MoM -Beta Apne Cast ki Ladki Se Hi Shadi Krna.
1980-Apne Dharam ki.
1990-Apne Desh ki.
2000-Apne Level ki.
2011-Haramkhor, shadi Ladki Se Hi kariyo.

Father: kya hua beta kyo ro rahe ho mujhe batao main tumhara dost hu..
Son: kya batau yaar.
Apni wali se milne gaya tha,
teri wali ne
bahut maara........

Air Hostes 2 Lalu: R U Vegeterian or Nonvegeterian? Lalu: I m Indian. She: No,Sir! R U Shaakahari Or Maasahari? Lalu: Na Re Sasuri I m Bihari!!!

19 Srdars went 4 film 2gether
Sum1 askd dem
y dey cam in such big grp of 19?

.

Dey repld film was only4above 18.

Bolo tararara

Son was crying..

Dad came & asked why r u crying?
Tell me, i m ur friend na..

Son: kuch nhi yaar!
horlicks jyada mang liya to teri item ne baja dala.

Baap : Sharab, Cigarete, Larkiyan Ye Sab Tumhari Dushman Hain. . . .
Beta : Jo Shakhs Apne Dushman Se dar k Bhag jaiey Wo Mard Nahi Hota Abba;

Ek ladka Pee Ke ghar lauta,,,

Dad se bachne k liye badi c book lekar padhne laga

Dad-Pi Ke Aaya hai???

Son-Nhi To

Dad-Kaminey! fir suitcase khol ke kya bak bak kr rha hai :D

Tip of happy life:

Kisi se koi cheez maango to aise maango jaise tmhare Baap ki hai... B-)

Or

Na mile t0 soch lena...

K

Kon sa tmhare Baap ki thi =D

Maa:Aaj school say itni jaldi aagay? Son:Machar maara to teacher nay chuti day di. Maa:Aisa kiyo? Son:Machar teacher kay gaal par betha tha

Dr:Jab aapko pata tha chipkali aapke kanme ghusi to aap chup Q the.
Santa: 1st cockroch gaya tha to mujhe laga k chipkali use pakadne gai he..

1 pagal khali paper ko bar bar choom raha tha. 2pagal:Ye kya hai? 1Pagal: Love letter hay 2pagal:Magar ye to khali hay 1Pagal: Aaj kal bol chal band hai

Doctor to petient : Ab to tum theek ho gaye ho fir kyo chinta karte ho 
Petient : sir jis gadi se mera accident hua tha uspe likha tha 'FIR MILENGE'

2 CHUHE Bike pe ghum rhe the.
Tabi SHER ne lift mangi.
To 1 CHUHA khada hokar bola-"soch le teri Maa fir kahegi ki Gundo k sath ghumne laga hai ajkal."

Hr Ladki K Chehre pr Naqab Hota He
Naqab Aashiq K liye Azab Hota He
Mt Mrna Naqab Wali Ldki pr Dost
Khubsurt Packing me Maal Aksr Khrab Hota he...

Parvati - prabhu trishul kha gaya ?

Bholenath - rajanikant le gaya..

Parvati - q ?

Bholenath - meggi khane...

A Girl Got Pregnant !!
.
Boy : How Did That Happen ??
.
Girl : Remember That Night,
When You Had A Sexual Dream
About Me?
My Bluetooth Was ON !!
.
.
"Welcome To 5G Technology" ;)

JAI SHRI KRISHNA
Krishna ke kadmo pe kadam milaye chalo,
Ab murali nahi to citi bajate chalo,
Radha to ghar wale dhund dilayenge hi,
Magar tab tak gopiyan pataye chalo!!!
< Jai Shri Krishna>

Pappu: Sister mujhe 1 Bottle blood dedo
Nurse: Blood Group bolo
Pappu: Koi bhi chalega
Nurse: Kaise chalega!
Pappu: Girlfrnd ko love letter likhna hai

Height of Thinking

Two frnds Santa nd Banta failed in 10th study again n again.. ..
.
.
... .
.
.
.
Santa : lets suicide oohhhh!.
.
.
.
.
Banta : No Waaaaays !
If v suicide thn in next life again we have to study from 'Pre Nursery'
:P :D